#NoFrauds: How to Get Over Imposter Syndrome
I feel like everyone is about to find out I'm a fraud.
That is a nagging thought often popping up in the mind of people who struggle with Imposter Syndrome. You may never have heard of it, and neither did I until recently.
Imposter Syndrome is a phenomenon in which a person experiences self-doubt and feels that they are somehow a “fraud” when it comes to accepting that we deserve and earned our successes. It’s basically a feeling that maybe you got Punk’d in a good way and stumbled upon a success that you didn’t actually earn.
Often, people with Imposter Syndrome are incredibly ambitious, perfectionists. We work extremely hard, push ourselves to our limits to achieve greater heights. But when it comes to accepting that we earned the achievements (be it getting accepted to grad school to getting that promotion at work), we retreat into a given mindset that somehow we must have slipped through the cracks. Or we tell ourselves that said achievement was just the result of some stroke of luck, good timing, or other glitch in the system.
These contradicting motives and feelings can be very uncomfortable, which is why it is important to resolve them and improve our self-image. Here are some tips to navigate it:
ONE: Journal/ Look at the facts
You would not be here if you were not fit for the position.
Sometimes, it is helpful to journal and actually list the baby steps or hard work that it took to get here to remind yourself of all the hard work, sacrifice, and investment that went into following through with achieving this success. Facts don’t lie, and it will be concrete evidence that you did that, sis!
TWO: Be aware of the words that you speak
Do you qualify your sentences with “this might seem dumb, but…” or feel like you want to duck under a bush or immediately make excuses when someone compliments you about something instead of just saying thanks?
Words are so powerful, and if you have Imposter Syndrome, you often respond to these sorts of situations by dismissing ourselves without even realizing it. Your words, presence, hard work matter in this world; you are you and that is your power, so don’t be so quick to make it seem otherwise.
THREE: Realize that you are not alone
Even Maya Angelou once mentioned that even though she wrote 11 books and won 5 Grammys for spoken recordings, she felt: “Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody and they are going to find me out.”
There are people in every field of all walks of life who have experienced this sensation and struggled with acceptance of self in this way. We all deal with bouts of self-doubt and fear how competent we really are, but courage is being able to operate gracefully and take leaps of faith despite that to reach new heights. We can’t let negative self-talk be a reason to keep us paralyzed and unable to enjoy the moments that we deserve.
FOUR: Understand that it is normal to falter
Know that no matter who you are and how wildly smart, successful, hardworking, driven, organized, and passionate of an individual you are, we all falter. Failure is a word that has so much negativity tied to it, but all it is is a sign that we are taking risks and trying new things.
What’s more important is that we fail forward and don’t get so caught up in letting a moment we are not at our best define who we are as people. Don’t use a moment that something did not work somehow seem like justification that we don’t, in fact, deserve to make our dreams come true and live our best lives.
FIVE: Use Kind Affirmations
The common thread and foundation of this entire phenomenon in the first place is, in my opinion, a lack of total self-love. Self-love is something we see discussed everywhere and may seem like a loaded or vague solution, but it really is true that is so necessary to be kind to ourselves and nurture who we are in the same way that we are to our friends, family, loved ones.
At times, you have to fake it 'til you make it if confidence doesn’t come totally naturally. Take a note from Issa—it helps so much to look in the mirror and talk to yourself and speak kindly.
“I deserve a life of positivity and fulfillment. This achievement is just one of many wonderful moments to come because I created this and will continue to create the life that I have always dreamed of.” While affirmations like this one may feel unnatural at first, they can help you to eventually solidify a more positive and healthy mindset.
This journey is yours and the path you take is yours; embrace it for what it is and treat yourself well. You worked hard, now kick your feet back for a moment, and celebrate YOU. You deserve it.
Do you struggle with Imposter Syndrome? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
