6 Steps to Get Over Your Ex
Breakups are one of the most universal human experiences. Heartbreak often leaves us with unsettled feelings that range from loneliness and depression to unworthiness and defeat. Breakups can seem totally negative on the surface, but they can actually lead us to knowing ourselves better. We often talk about the heartbreak portion, but never really discuss the recovery side. What happens after you go through emotions that sometimes lead to a loss of your inner self? How do we bounce back in the best way in order to reclaim the old us? What are the tools we need in order to succeed?
I recently went through a breakup. I felt like I lost myself and my sense of happiness. There were so many thoughts going through my mind; I needed to find healthy distractions to focus on my personal goals instead. Here are some tips and tricks that helped me to become more in tune with my emotions and regain my confidence.
Hit the gym: People around me have always told me the best way to get aggression out is to go to the gym. I remember having so much pent up anger and sadness that I needed a physical activity to help. That’s when I decided to start going to the gym every day. Getting to the gym is hard, but I decided to go daily to help me get out the house at least for an hour. It helped me to develop a regimen and once I began seeing results, my body and health became my first priority.
Write in a journal: Writing down all my feelings onto a page without criticism or fear was refreshing and essential in my journey. I needed to write down my thoughts to clear my mind. Every time something new happened to me, whether good or bad, I made sure to write it down. It helped me pinpoint exactly what I was feeling and understand what I needed and wanted from future relationships.
Consider therapy: I’ve been going to therapy since I was 8-years-old and it has given me an amazing outlet. I love being able to speak to an outside party without a filter. It’s important to monitor our mental health in general, but prioritizing mine during my breakup was particularly helpful. Throughout the breakup therapy helped me to heal and make amends with what occurred, and it slowly gave me closure.
Document your growth: Every time I felt sad or not myself, I recorded a video of exactly how I was feeling. I described all the emotions I felt in that moment, along with an added positive quote to reassure me that my growth was evident and remind me to be proud of myself no matter what. I constantly looked back at those memories and surprised myself with how much things had changed. It gave me hope that I would get through it.
Spend time with family & friends: Usually, when issues or problems arise in my life I tend to isolate from the people who love me the most. Being a bother to those around me is one of my worst fears. My friends and family have enough on their plates, so I never want to be an added burden, but seeing them and having daily check-ins was a constant reminder that they care and want to be supportive. My loved ones have reassured me that no matter what I can rely on them.
Pay attention to your diet: During my breakup I noticed a change in my eating habits. Having formerly been a stress eater, I realized I had suddenly lost my appetite. I wasn't taking care of myself nutritionally and my body paid the price for it. Now that I had more time to allocate to myself I decided to take my diet seriously. I took inventory of what I was lacking and made a plan for how much I should eat in a day. I prioritized my daily meal and snack intake, making sure I was thriving internally just as much as the other parts of myself.
Bouncing back from the split was certainly a wild ride, to say the least. A wild ride of emotions, changes, and most of all growth. As painful as the transition from being in a relationship to being single was, it was a necessary thing that had to happen to me. Breakups, as terrible as they may be, are vital because they really show you your inner power. It also puts into perspective how much self-love we show ourselves on a daily basis. Self-love is crucial during breakups and in life in general. Even the slightest affirmation can help to build your self confidence. We have to remember to be kinder to ourselves in the worst of situations. Everything that I listed has helped me to bounce back. This experience has made me eager to see what's next, because I now know growth is never ending.
